Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
