big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
