he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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