Non-Jews are for practice
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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