If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
