It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
