arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
