nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
