Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
