chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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