Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
