I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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