mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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