he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
