Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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