do herpes really smell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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