He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
