My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
