Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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