i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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