if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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