he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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