You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had to cum in my sink.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
