I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
