When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
