Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
