booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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