Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
