So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
