I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Someone shattered a urinal.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
