I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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