They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
