I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
