i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
