sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
