how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
