***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
