Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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