Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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