We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
