i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
