girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I just put wine in my tea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
