good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
