i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i think i just lost a toe
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
