He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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