I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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