I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm having to shit out rocks
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
