I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
