oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
