I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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