I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
